Bill Shipper

Lyrics

There’s a thing I do in Spring of every year
I approach with civic duty, thirst and fear
When my pencil points are sharpened and receipts are all complete
I think about the IRS and pour myself a beer
Cause I only do my taxes when I drink.

Is my liquor a deductible expense?
Can I come up with an audit proof defense?
I calculate the rate, divide, and then intoxicate
And contribute to the nation with licentious libation
Cause I only do my taxes when I drink.

So I’m taxed on the wages of my sin
Oh, no! On my 1040 I spilled gin!
When it finally hits my head it’s time to calculate the credits
Will the government subsidize my attempts to liquidize?
If I only do my taxes when I drink.

Now I offer up a dram for Uncle Sam
And extol the model citizen I am
There’s a price to being free, here’s to Lady Liberty
Will it please her if I render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s?
Cause I only render my taxes when I drink!

Yes, I only do my taxes when I drink
I only do my taxes when I drink
So is my inebriation subject to depreciation
If I only do my taxes, if I only do my taxes,
If I only do my taxes when I drink!