From the album Dirty Data

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Lyrics

Tears On My Spreadsheet Over You
Bill Shipper

I tried my best through Finance class this morning
But the numbers wouldn’t keep you off my mind.
Cause what you said to me really hurt my equity
And now I’ve got a deficit on my heart’s bottom line.

You said my mind was a standard deviation
And my future value wasn’t worth a damn
Then you announced to me I was a liability
You sure can depreciate a man.

Now I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you
My laptop keys are soggy and I don’t know what to do
My revenue’s behind ‘cause you’re still on my mind,
I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you!

You hit on me with exponential smoothing
Capitalized my interest right away
But the cash you spent on me you expensed as R&D
Cause all you really wanted was a one night ROA.

Now I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you
My laptop keys are soggy and I don’t know what to do
My revenue’s behind ‘cause you’re still on my mind,
I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you!

We fell in love the first thing in September
Living on the margins from the start
Now here it is the cold of December
And your financial footprint just stomped upon my heart!

Now our love’s has zero salvage value
And you over-analyzed the reason why
But since our merger’s through/ All I’ve got to say to you
Honey, you can kiss my assets goodbye!!

Cause I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you
My laptop keys are soggy and I don’t know what to do
My market share’s behind ‘cause you’re still on my mind,
I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you!

I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you
My laptop screen is foggy and I don’t know what to do
My pencil marks are smudged ‘cause you won’t let me fudge
I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you!
I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you!
I’ve got tears on my spreadsheet over you!